Politics

take a hint

“Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more. There’s no more money to spend–you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard’s bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one’s speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you’re saying: there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don’t. I know, I know. There’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky. I’m not saying you don’t love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: ‘Take a hint.'”

– Bill Maher

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four more fears

Truly disappointing. Currently watching the man I consider my President delivering his concession speech.

This reminds me of something from a movie…

Royal Magistrate: William Wallace, you stand in taint of High Treason.
William: Against whom?
Royal Magistrate: Against your king. Have you anything to say?
William: Never in my whole life did I swear allegiance to him.
Royal Magistrate: It matters not. He is your king. Confess, and you may receive a quick death. Deny, and you must be purified by pain. Do you confess?

George W. Bush is not my President. He’s a maniac. The American people are extremely divided. Mark my words, bad things are going to happen. This country will suffer for the choice we have made. We will live to regret this election. When the rain of fire comes down upon our heads, I will only say one thing… neener-neener, I told you so!

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BU(ll)SH(it)

It’s 1:17am and I am still awake. Can you guess why? I am truly disappointed. I know, I’m giving up in a way, but I’m not sure there’s anything else I can do. I feel as though I must just get used to the idea. How exactly are there so many people in this great country of ours who are so fucking lame and stupid.

The media is boiling my poor little brain. Let’s all just hope that we don’t get blowed up.

~fin~

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